Fairytale Hell
by wirbil
Summary: In which Prince Charming finally comprehends he's really ugly and that Prince the Ripper is way awesomer. -BelxFran-


**Disclaimer: **KHR belongs to Akira Amano.

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_**The Day The Frog met Prince the Ripper..**_

...Prince Charming got impaled by his own bread knife, died, and went to Fairytale Hell. He may have reached the peak of his career in Fairytale Land but where there is a heaven and Earth there is definitely going to be some Place else. The Place that fairytale personnel go after no one gives a damn about them anymore. Everyone's eyes were now glued to the blood drenched-knife-throwing-prince of said Fairytale Hell. Might it have something to do with the fact that Prince the Ripper was just that much better looking?

**!!!~!!!~!!!~!!!**

So Fran has been reading into a few too many fairytales. There's nothing wrong with that. He reads and he scorns the sheer stupidity of the happy endings and the love between the heroine and hero.

What is the point of love anyway? From what he's been reading, Fran deduces that it's nothing but a combination of lust and stupidity, coupled with obsession and a need for dominance, with sprinkles of lies and betrayal, all stirred together in the cauldron of greed and pride.

Nothing could be stupider. Nothing could be worse. Except for (maybe) loyalty and devotion with little dashes of admiration and friendship. That's what Fran knew made up the relations between the 10th Vongola and his closest family. The family that wielded the rings that were destroyed by the 10th himself. The family is mourning the 10th's passing as Fran broods right now. Soon they will have a fake funeral and take the 10th's body where no one will be able to desecrate it. The Varia's parting gift to their former boss. Independent and distant they may be, but they were family (not really).

"Ushishishi, is the little frog still thinking about _love_? Don't over strain yourself." Belphegor chuckled darkly as he strode into Fran's room and slung and arm around his shoulders rather forcefully. Steering him toward the door, Belphegor tightened his grip around Fran's neck.

"Hello, Bel-senpai. Do I have to tell Xanxus-sama that you're sexually harassing me?" Fran said calmly even though he felt Bel's arm tighten around his throat. Bel would let go eventually.

"Am I? I don't think I am. But you know I can _really_ harass you if you want. Who knows, you might like it."

Bel grinned devilishly at Fran while he dragged him along the corridors and out toward the back door.

"No thank you."

"Ushishishishi, we're leaving now so that we can put the 10th to rest."

Outside there might be listening devices near their base so Bel didn't say much. But Fran got the idea. Levi must have found a place. He was the only one willing to do the boss's orders at a time like this. Fran shrugged out of Bel's grip and walked unsteadily toward the car that was waiting for the Varia. Bel and Fran were providing a distraction while Lissuria and Levi went to the actual place where the coffin and body were to be put to rest (quite close to each other). Xanxus was to attend the funeral and provide the cover and alibi for his subordinates.

Earpieces in their ears they all set out to do their tasks, like the good fairies in fairytales. The only difference was that they were the mean fairies that caused death and wreaked havoc, but they were also the ones the wielded real power. So the question still stands as to who makes the better fairies.

Adjusting his crown carefully in the reflection of the car window, Bel chuckled again and ran his hand through his hair carefully. Fran sat quietly but adjusted his frog hat to a more comfortable position in the cramped car.

All was silent except the rumble of the engine.

Things happened as if time was moving along with molasses stuck at its heels as Bel and Fran got out of the car. Stepping lightly, the two made their way to the spot that would provide distractions should Lussuria and Levi be tracked. Settling down onto the branches of nearby trees the two seemed to wait forever as the seconds ticked by. Lussuria contacted them and suggested in a tight voice (which he would never use had the situation not have been serious) that they do something flashy.

Jumping down from the tree took hours as the two took costly minutes to set up the explosives around the perimeter. Finally, they set everything on fire (really it was all Bel). They moved a safe distance away and the explosives set off the next moment. Anyone watching would have seen Fran and Bel blow themselves up as if they had been suicidal and anyone at least a mile away from the park heard blood boiling shrieks erupt along with Belphegor's trademark insane laugh fill the air. That day, the park had been shut down due to sewage back up (of course, it was Xanxus pulling strings). No civilian was to be hurt in this top secret strategic mafia maneuver.

Sitting together, hidden in the bushes, Belphegor stared at the flames flick it's red and yellow fingers toward the sky and breathe smoke, dust, and ashes into the air. Fran's illusions were coming a long nicely. The two sat there for who-knows-how-long and just stared and stared and stared until their eyes dried out from all the ashes getting into their eyes.

Bel's hand slithered over to Fran's cool hand and he twined his fingers smoothly with Fran's. The two continued to sit and stare until all the flames went out and all that was left was a bunch of ashes and a pit in the ground (no more sewage back up if there had been any).

Fran squeezed Bel's hand. He felt like doing something to catch Bel off guard. He wanted to do something (anything) after all this was done.

Fran leaned over and pressed his lips onto Belphegor's. Whether he was high off the smoke or just wanting to see what it felt like to be the one harassing instead of complaining, Fran wasn't sure. But he was sure he liked how Bel's teeth felt as he ran his tongue along them and Fran was sure he liked how Bel bit his lip (hard).

Belphegor backed away and smirked with his teeth glinting in noon sun. His eyes were invisible but Fran would have said they sparkled as well. Reaching out a tentative hand, Fran touched Bel's hair (soft and downy, like Fran imagined).

"Say uncute Kouhai, perhaps I should tell Xanxus-_sama _that _you're_ harassing me."

**!!!~!!!~!!!~!!!**

So Prince the Ripper kissed The Frog (vice versa now) and the two continued wreaking havoc onto the world and blowing things up. They had kissed and been (dare I say it) _happy_ at the end of _their_ story it but certainly doesn't make their story a _conventional_ fairytale. Living forever in the land of loss with animals of fiery doing their bidding. The mink and the frog lived together in Fairytale Hell. Where things constantly burst into spontaneous combustion and where Prince Charming finally realized how wimpy (and ugly) he really was (compared to Prince the Ripper).

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**A/N: **I wanted to write something about fairytales. Because all those Prince Charmings out there because they're just _too _perfect and (dare I say) Gary Sue-ish. So bring in Prince the Ripper anytime (he has great hair)! x3


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